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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25015675">Her name was Libitina, and she hated it</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flower_SystemMadness20/pseuds/Flower_SystemMadness20'>Flower_SystemMadness20</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, I improvised a bit with Renier, I told myself I wouldn't put any romantic ships in lmao, Monyuri is only in the last chapter, Needles, Nightmares, Sayori's depression, Self-Harm, Yuri is Libitina in this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:20:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25015675</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flower_SystemMadness20/pseuds/Flower_SystemMadness20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Libitina was five years old when she escaped that horrible place. The authorities moved her from foster home to foster home, changing her name a few times in the process. Yuri was eleven when she first cut herself. She made a momento of the occasion, but not before telling herself that she'd never do it again. Oh, how wrong she was. In high school, she joined the newly-formed literature club, which only had three other members at the time. Natsuki, a short girl who's personality could best be described by the words pink and tsundere, Sayori, a bright and bubbly girl who always had a smile on her face, and Monika, the beautiful and talented club president. None of them are how they show themselves to be on the surface, not even Yuri herself...</p><p>OR</p><p>Yuri talks to each of the other members in the club about feelings and stuff, or on some occasions is just hugs it out.</p><p>Rated T for... Well, look in the tags</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Monika &amp; Natsuki &amp; Sayori &amp; Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!), Monika &amp; Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!), Monika/Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!), Natsuki &amp; Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!), Sayori &amp; Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Natsuki</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nightmares lead to sleeves being rolled down.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Come on! Just a-a little further!' She was running. Her legs ached, her head was spinning and her body was running purely on adreneline.</p><p>She heard a loud BANG behind her, and she somehow sped up. She was only alive now because of the kind lady who brought her food; the lady that said she'd catch up with her. He was catching up, she couldn't, he'd-</p><p>"Yuri?" she heard someone whisper in her ear. Who... Never mind that.</p><p>There was a sharp jolt as her foot snagged a branch, and she quickly came tumbling down. She scrambled to get to her feet, but someone was grabbing her by the wrist. He pulled her up and she got a good look at him.</p><p>Doctor Renier grinned maniacally, and suddenly, they were no longer in a forest. He strapped her down to the table again, and she saw him pull out a syringe. She was screaming, tears streaming town her face as she tried to get her arms out of their restraints.</p><p>He held the needle to her arm.</p><p>"Come now, Libitina. You know this won't hurt."</p><p>"Yuri?" She heard the voice say again. He stuck the needle in.</p><p> </p><p>Yuri gasped and sat up. She had trained herself not to scream after a nightmare like that.</p><p>She looked around the room she was in. The club room. Oh.</p><p>Natsuki was stood next to her desk, staring at her.</p><p>She must have dozed off while reading...</p><p>"Ummm..... Are you okay?" Natsuki sounded vaguely concerned, which was unlike her.</p><p>"Y-yes... Just... I-it was nothing..."</p><p>She noticed the sky outside had turned a beautiful shade of orange, with pink fluffy clouds spread across the horizon.</p><p>She hastily started packing her book and pencil case into her bag, but Natsuki grabbed her wrist. She tugged her arm back with a yelp, as that was the last place she-</p><p>"Woah, jeez. I didn't grab you THAT hard."</p><p>"S-sorry... I... Hurt my wrist earlier" This was technically the truth, although Natsuki should assume this meant she sprained it or something, not cut it with a knife. Emphasis on SHOULD.</p><p>"Did... did you cut?" Huh. Detective Natsuki had her all figured out...</p><p>"No! I-"</p><p>"Show me."</p><p>Yuri reluctantly rolled down her sleeve, exposing the numerous cuts that she had inflicted upon herself. Sometimes she could go almost a week without cutting, but her longing for that feeling of relief drew her back into the habit.</p><p>"Jeez, Yuri..." Natsuki surveyed her arm, expressionless.</p><p>"I... sorry..." She said quietly. There was an awkward moment of silence before Natsuki broke it.</p><p>"Don't apologise. I shouldn't have grabbed your wrist like that..."</p><p>Why was there so much awkward silence today? It was almost infuriating.</p><p>"Are... Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?"</p><p>"I-I... N-no, it's personal..." Yuri could tell her face was probably bright red by now. She just wanted to excuse herself and go home.</p><p>"Fine..." She was half expecting Natsuki to back her into a corner and force her to explain herself, but was extremely relieved when that didn't happen.</p><p>She took that as her opportunity to leave, and so she swung her bag over her back.</p><p>As she turned towards the door, Natsuki stopped her.</p><p>"WAIT! Umm... You know... We're friends, so... If you ever need to talk about anything... I'm here."</p><p>Huh. Well, that wasn't exactly something she was expecting to hear from NATSUKI of all people. Still, she smiled and nodded.</p><p>"Thank you. See you tomorrow."</p><p>"Y-yeah! See ya..."</p><p>She walked out of the door, smiling slightly. She could feel her knife's weight in her pocket, but she told herself it wouldn't be used today.</p><p>Maybe tomorrow</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I always pictured it as Natsuki walked in on her cutting herself at one point, and she made Yuri promise to try and quit. She promised she'd try, and it went fairly well for about a month.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sayori</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yuri goes to make tea and finds the missing vice-president.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuri was getting her tea set ready to make tea for the three members present in the club so far; Monika, Natsuki and herself. Sayori was yet to show up, but then again, she wasn't exactly known for being on time. She picked up the water pitcher and exited the clubroom, heading straight for the nearest water fountain.</p><p>As she approached the turning in the corridor, she heard someone quietly sobbing. Ah. Oh, no. She was not exactly the best at dealing with this sort of thing, so she approached with caution.</p><p>"H-hello?" The person who was crying had immediately stopped, however, she could tell they didn't move.</p><p>She turned around the corner, and saw none other than Sayori, sat down on the floor with obvious tear tracks down her face.</p><p>"Y-Yuri! Hey! I-I..."</p><p>"Sayori, are you alright?"</p><p>"Y-yeah... just a little raincloud, th-that's all..."</p><p>"Well... I have an umbrella, mind if I sit?"</p><p>Sayori nodded slowly and Yuri sat down next to her. Without a warning, Sayori threw her arms around her. While she wasn't expecting this, it wasn't an unwelcome gesture.</p><p>After a few minutes, Sayori broke away from the hug and tucked her knees up to her chest.</p><p>"Do you... want to talk about it?"</p><p>"Not really..."</p><p>There was an awkward pause.</p><p>"Well... I came out here to fill the water pitcher to make tea... would you like some?"</p><p>"Oh... Y-yeah, okay. Can I go to the club with you?"</p><p>"Of course"</p><p>Yuri stood up to fill the water pitcher, and Sayori got her bag. Then, they walked back to the clubroom together. When they got there, Sayori took a deep breath and opened the door.</p><p>"Hey everyone! Sorry I'm late, hehe..."</p><p>"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying..."</p><p>Monika's tone was gently, but Sayori just shrugged.</p><p>"It was just a little raincloud, no worries. It's gone now!"</p><p>Yuri smiled as she slipped into the room behind Sayori, who was now chatting excitedly with the other girls.</p><p>As she was waiting for the kettle to boil, she and Sayori quickly made eye contact, and she gave her a little thumbs up, presumably as a way of saying 'thank you'. Either way, it was nice.</p><p>Sayori really was a ray of sunshine, even when her little rainclouds came along.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Monika</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yuri ran out of the room following an argument with Natsuki, and when she didn't return in over ten minutes, Monika went to look for her.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Breathe, just breathe.</p><p>In, out, in, out.</p><p>It's okay.</p><p>Yuri was sat on the floor in one of the bathroom stalls, forcing her breathing to regulate. The tears stung her eyes and she blinked, feeling them roll down her face. Her knees were tucked up to her chest, and she was rocking slightly; that had always helped her to calm down.</p><p>Her sleeve had long since been rolled down, and the knife had returned to its hiding place in her pocket in order to stop herself from tearing her arm apart.</p><p>She heard the bathroom door open and someone say her name.</p><p>"Yuri, is that you?"</p><p>It was Monika. Yuri didn't say anything, not even looking up.</p><p>"Can you come out here? I just want to make sure you're okay"</p><p>She stood up and opened the door, hands shaking. Monika looked at her tear stained face with a sympathetic expression.</p><p>"Yuri, what..."</p><p>She sighed, placing her hand on her cheek and gently wiped away the tears with her thumb. As she noticed Yuri's blush, she realised how intimate that may have felt.</p><p>"Ah! Sorry..."</p><p>There was a pause before Yuri wrapped her arms around her, choking back a sob. Monika silently returned the hug. It only took a moment for her to give up on stopping herself from breaking down completely.</p><p>Her whole body was shaking now, and she buried her face in her shoulder.</p><p>Yuri fell to her knees and Monika went down with her, still holding her as she sobbed.</p><p>"Shhh... it's okay... you're safe."</p><p>Those words did little to calm her, so they both sat there in (almost) silence.</p><p>After a while she went quiet, but refused to let go.</p><p>Monika spoke up.</p><p>"Natsuki shouldn't have said that to you... I could tell after you left she felt bad."</p><p>Her voice was gentle and soothing, and Yuri closed her eyes.</p><p>"Do you want to go back to the club? It's almost time to go home anyway"</p><p>Yuri slowly let go of her and sat back, facing away from Monika. She nodded and stood up, wiping her eyes.</p><p>Monika stood up as well, and she smiled.</p><p>"Let's go"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Yuri</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Honestly, she was surprised she didn't pull out a knife right there in the club room.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>About a week after what happened in the bathroom, all of the girls were sat in the club room as usual, almost as if that had never happened.</p><p>The club was quiet, as everyone was focused on their own little activities. Yuri was fiddling with her pen, unable to think of something to write. It slipped out of her hand and rolled under her desk.</p><p>She was reaching under the desk to get it, when a sudden noise from behind startled her. She jumped up, hitting her forehead on the desk in the process.</p><p>"Ah! Sorry, Yuri!" Sayori apologised rushing over to help her.</p><p>"Ow... It's alright, Sayori, really..."</p><p>Yuri looked at Sayori's concerned expression, and felt the girl brush aside her bangs.</p><p>There was no mark from hitting her head on the desk, however, there was a shape that looked like it had been carved into her head a long time ago. She heard a sharp intake of breath, and Sayori moved her hand away.</p><p>"Yuri...... Why do you have a creepy weird eye symbol thing on your forehead...?"</p><p>She hastily tried to cover it over again as she turned around to run out of the room.</p><p>"Oh, NO YOU DON'T"</p><p>There was a sudden jolt of pain in her arm as Natsuki grabbed her wrist to stop her from escaping.</p><p>She tried to wrestle out of her grip, but she now had two people trying to hold her back.</p><p>Monika appeared in front of her, gently placing her hands on the sides of her face.</p><p>"Yuri, calm down. We're not going to hurt you"</p><p>The other two girls mostly released her, but Natsuki held onto her arm.</p><p>"Th-that... hurts..." Her voice was shaky and quiet, and she just wanted to run away.</p><p>"I'm sorry, but you're not cutting yourself again."</p><p>There was a few seconds of silence, during which Sayori and Monika exchanged concerned looks.</p><p>"So... weird eye symbol?" said Monika, moving only one of her hands away.</p><p>"Y-yeah..."</p><p>"Can... can we see?"</p><p>Yuri stayed quiet, looking up at Natsuki with an expression that could only be read as 'too tired to hide it for any longer'. Her purple hair was moved to the side and the other three girls looked at her face.</p><p>"Holy shit..... How long has that... Did you do that to yourself?" Natsuki spoke in what could be considered a whisper.</p><p>"A-as... as long as I remember... and no, I-I don't think s-so..." A few tears slipped from her eyes, and she tried to swallow that familiar lump in the back of her throat.</p><p>Everyone seemed to notice this, as they all quickly threw their arms around her. Natsuki even released her vice-like grip on her wrist, as she sat there in stunned silence. She knew it wouldn't las long, as they would probably bug her for an explaination. She let out a sigh, knowing she'd have to give herself hell for this later. Here goes... everything.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>"So, let me get this straight..." Natsuki began. The four girls were sat on the floor with their backs to the wall, having listened to the older girl talk for the past fifteen minutes. Yuri had her knees tucked up to her chest and was hugging them as she slowly rocked back and forth. Monika had her hand on her shoulder, and Sayori looked at the two of them with an unreadable look on her face.</p><p>"You... you spent the first five years of your life in a human experimentation prison/religious camp thing where they did tests on you and forced you to open what they referred to as your third eye. You tried to escape many times but could never do it on your own, always being caught by this asshole called Renier. The place was eventually busted by the FBI and you and all of the other subjects were given rehabilitation to get you used to a normal human society. You didn't speak to any of the people there because you thought they'd try to hurt you, and you ended up so bad that you didn't go to a normal school until you were eight. It's the reason why you still don't like people and you like to distract yourself with books so you can escape from this reality. You started cutting yourself out of a weird morbid fascination with pain and got addicted, a-and for SOME reason you never TOLD US-"</p><p>"Natsuki..."</p><p>"Y-yes... That's e-everything...."</p><p>Natsuki looked away from them for a while before she said anything else.</p><p>"Y-you're... you're an idiot, Yuri..." She was crying, most likely facing away so the others wouldn't see her tears. Sayori wrapped her arms around her with the same emotionless look on her face, and Monika did something unexpected.</p><p>While those two were facing away, she quickly planted a kiss on the other girl's cheek. Yuri blushed as she silently moved her hand to touch the place where Monika's lips had been, and she couldn't help but to smile as she wrapped her arms around her.</p><p>Natsuki and Sayori soon joined in the hug, all three girls now comforting Yuri.</p><p>She closed her eyes and focused on her heartbeat. It was just as consistent as always, and she felt her body relax.</p><p>These were people she could trust. Like, for real this time. Not just doctors or nurses that said they wouldn't tell anyone, or the people who said everything would be okay.</p><p>They were her friends. They made her feel safe, and gave her more of an idea of who she was.</p><p>Her name was Yuri, and she loved it.</p><p>END(?)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I... hope this wasn't too bad... Honestly, I personally think the end was a little rushed, but I'd be happy to start this into a series if anyone would be interested in that!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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